How to RatDax

AKA Audax Tess-style/bugger up an awesome audax ride:

Step 1. Avoid any form of solid sleep; 4 hours is way more than enough
Step 2. Skip breakfast
Step 3. Get there super early, but dawdle and faff once there
Step 4. Start the race late #lolfaff
Step 5. Go AWOL. #getlost . Go in the wrong direction for a solid hour #outsideisfree
Step 6. Be too sick, fully, and blow a hole in your rear tyre bombing rocks
Step 7. Get sunburnt

Meow that you know the appropriate steps to take in order to successfully #RatDax, you, too, can be confident in your abilities to miss checkpoints and bugger your dax.